Thirteenth Meeting

Editor's Note: This post was written by Ex-Noob, Current Brother, and future married guy Tom J. I've made a few edits to the post to make it conform with the site's format.

Tonight we're doing sour ales. Derek starts the meeting off with “HIPPA!!” … and commence the drinking.


Monk’s Café Flemish Sour Ale
This one’s cummin in at ____
Welp, on to the next
(but everyone seemed to like it)
There’s a lack of bread, not very complex
Brett, as in Favre
You can write about that, it’s Belgium
That was some damn good sour
Damn good way to start the night
“Belfry?” “One million”
I’ll buy that one at whatever price they’re charging. At whatever

BPA: 3.33

Gueuze Girardin
CORKED AND CAGED!!
Oooo, what the heck? Jesus. What hecking crap is this? What the crap is that?
The club was not enamored with the cork.
Oh, that’s really good
It’s definitely very champagne esque (Derek)
This is a super funky one (Joe)
Smells skunky (Tom J)
Tart too, really tart. You could say it’s gold (Brent)
Tom B would hate this, cause he likes boys.
CoLo, RiDo, Colorado beer. Sounds like a Gaga song
It’s more tart than the usual
More bubbly than champagny…
The color is more gold than it is red

BPA: 3.29

New Glarus Enigma
The color of this is more Christmas than summer
Like a cinnamony spice
Smells cinnamony, tastes cinnamony
I like the little bit of tart/sourness
It was a good lookin cut (Derek for Fbomb)
Reddish, raspberry in color
Clean finish
Color similar to more red than gold
Overall, pleasant
Colin mumbled something “intelligent”

BPA: 3.04

Cantillon Gueuze is “capped cork”
Michael struggled to open it (like real bad, Brent had to help him out)
Michael - “obvioushly” I could have done it, but …….
Aged in oak
Man, nothing wrong with that
Smells like hay, tastes like hay, wow, good stuff
Smells like acidic, tastes, acidic, like Jews. Man, we may have found a winner
We might have found a new blogger!
Oh, I like this a lot
It’s so much different in your mouth
It’s so much more complex
It’s way more bitter than anything we’ve tried tonight
It’s yellowish in hue, and cloudy
Looks like the hay from barnyard barrion
The aftertaste is almost wheat

BPA: 3.26


Cuvee De Ranke
Paper wrapped…. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Joe rubbed the tip like caressing a p p
Cummin in hot
Oh, ah, oh, ah
Joe destroyed the cap like a doctor does a penis the first time he does a circumcision – crocked
Oh, I like the smell of this a lot
This one’s pretty complex too
It doesn’t smell as funky as the next
It’s got a little bit more tartness
This is less acidic as the last few
I think the last one had a stronger flavor, but this one has a better flavor
Should we start testing the PH Balance?
“Tom B is gonna take this personally and step his game up” ….. in reference to Tom B’s lame blogging skills
Oh man, that’s very tart
Sweet sassy mallassy, that’s tartie
It looks like a dunkle

BPA: 3.26

Ommegang Zuur
Tell me how much you taste the cherries in this one
Yeah, I can taste the cherries a little bit
I think the sour taste lends itself to the bitter taste
This is really good
Yeah, I like this
It’s obviously a lot more subtle than the last one
Looks like a flanders red. What is it technically? A flanders red
Michael likes to rub his fingers together like he’s planning on doing something wrong

BPA: 3.33

Rodenbach Classic
Corked and caged (rack um and stack em)
Spouse? No spouse. Misses? No misses.
I’ll be calling the St. Louis Park police to test that theory
I got my blinky light, I’m good
Belfry took a spill on the floor
(Joe) Very young tasting (Tom) That’s what she said
Noob tickled Brent, loved it …. Brent uncomfortable
Life is good, isn’t it?
Smells and tastes a little like jungle fever (in other words – black)
Lots of talk about capping beer club, blah blah blah. I think Brent’s a racist
You’re either on to something, or on something
Those side beers look good
I like this one
Like Joe said, it’s very young
Compared to the other ones, it tastes like a flavorless ale
I don’t know, I just enjoy this
Oh, it’s um, nice, very drinkable, light mouth feel
I could drink a bunch of these on a summer day (Brent)

BPA: 3.37

Rodenbach Grand Cru
Corked and caged
Huge noob argument… doesn’t matter, overwhelming consensus, we have a new blogger
This is fuckin dank
Good job Tom J, this is awesome (People seem to like the beer)
Pretty fuckin good
This is really fantastic
I really like both of them, but this is better
I have to have a feeling that sour is going to happen another night. This category is really good
“Belchhhhhhh” (Derek likes it)
Man, this is good beer
(talking about a guy they know that trips balls… sweats out of his eyes, and clearly is a questionable character who flops around urinals)
Colin quoting the shit out of the classic movie “The Fugitive”. Good stuff
Huge discussion about Rambo IV…. Look out, We just put Sly Stallone in the HOF
Colin is being really creepy towards Kate when Brent picked up the phone, and now all of us are singing “believe it or not, George isn’t at home. Where could he be??”
“Oh Michael hold me” – Michaels feminine homo dog
“I am NOT a noob, how dare you!!!!!” -- Michael

BPA: 3.69

Twelfth Meeting

Here we are in Uptown for Noob Belfry's initiation into Brotherhood. He's upstaged us all by providing handmade pierogies and blue cheese with honey. Next week Brent will be lucky if he remembers pretzels. This week we're enjoying Czech Pilsners. Since it's a fairly small category, there will be some slight derivations.

First up: Brau Bros Bohemian Pilsner, which comes in at 5.5% ABV. There's a nice initial taste, but it dies fairly quickly and may lack bite. Like any good pils, it's easy drinking on a warm day such as this.

BPA: 2.72

Secondly, some nerds are talking about Whale Wars. That show is seriously for fags. On to the next beer: Czechvar. This is the American alias of Budweiser Budvar, which is the original Budweiser. However, the MAN won't let us call it that stateside. The taste is "a little grassy," "tastes like hay," and "horses sleep on this." This is a pretty authentic beer. The king of pilsners should be their slogan.

BPA: 3.27

Next up is Hirter Privat Pils. It's 5.2% ackahol. It smells a little cleaner than the last one. It's a pretty light pils. Some people like it better than the Czechvar. Some people like it less. And some people like it the exact same. Gabbert just said he needs his Pilsner "Ice Fing cold." And that was edited for the blog.

BPA: 3.05

Schell's Pilsner is the next pour. This one is slightly heavier, at 5.6%. However, once again, it's pretty smooth and light. There's not a lot of input on this one because the conversation was sidetracked.

BPA: 2.43

Next pour is Sierra Nevada Summerfest. This one has a B on Beeradvocate, which is on the high end for this style. This brewery usually puts out some quality beers, so it should be pretty tasty. It's a pretty good beer, but it just doesn't taste like a standard pilsner. Derek believes it's an American Steez pilsner.

BPA: 2.33

Colin's second pour is Bell's Lager. This one is another that's not technically a Czech Pilsner, but is close enough to it to drink tonight. It's probably the best of the domestic ones we've tasted. Once again, we're off topic, but this time talking about our first Beer Club Field Trip.

BPA: 2.75

Derek brings to us Lagunitas Pils. This one is 5.3% alcohol by volume. This one tastes like it has a little more hop to it. Hip hops. It don't remind Derek of none "Check style pills." Whatever that means. Brent thinks it's way off target. The consensus is that it deviates from the style, yet has the cheek to brand itself as a Czech Pils. The audacity of those hipsters!

BPA: 2.28

Next we have Victory Prima Pils. This one garners an A- rating on BA, and comes in at 5.3% ABV. This one is definitely the only one with a different look. It's a little cloudier. It's definitely a little hoppier than the others, and it's cold and crisp.

BPA: 3.12

Last, and maybe least, is another Austrian brew. Stiegl Pils is the final tasting of the night, and I'm not quite as drunk as normal. Mike has only slurred once, which makes this meeting unique. It smells a little sweeter, and it's fairly tasty. This one has the lightest color of any we've seen so far.

BPA: 2.9

That about does it. This was the first beer club where the theme was not an ale. It was weather-appropriate, and the killer apps were envious of Guy Fieri, who Brent is envious of. Next week I won't be in attendance, so there will be a guest blogger(s). Alright, Johnny Weir signing off.

Eleventh Meeting

We're here in Crystal for the eleventh meeting of the Wild Turkey Beer Club. The theme: Scotch Ale. The mascot: Mr. P. We're missing Tom J and Derek from the mix, and we may have a female guest taster in Kayla McFarm Ham.

First Beer: Moylan's Kilt Lifter. This CA Wee Heavy checks in at 8% ABV. It pours a dark copper. The taste is caramel and bread crust. This is Joe's selection, and one of his favorite beers of all time. People are eating brats right now so the conversation has pretty much ceased.

BPA: 3.32

Next up, we have Great Divide Claymore Scotch Ale. Suggested pairing is lamb shank, after you kill it by hand. This one is 7.7%, but it pours awfully dark. "This is really yummy, and you can quote me Tom." -Brent This beer doesn't have a malty introduction, according to Belfry, and agreed by everyone. It's far more bitter than the last beer we tried, without any of the sweetness.

BPA: 3.1

Colin's second offering is Founders Dirty Bastard. Founders is among the top breweries around, so we all expect this one to garner among the highest ratings. This doggy arfs around 8.3%. This one is quite a bit hoppier than a last few, which is unusual for the style. The conversation is wandering off topic to the land of reading. Which some believe poisons the mind.

BPA: 3 (ed. note: surprisingly low)

Colin has a single 12 oz pour of our only Scottish produced Scotch Ale tonight, Orkney Skullsplitter. This one is 8.5% and was brewed by the one and only Highlander. It was stirred with his Kurgan sword. It smells of Werthers originals, just like a standard nursing home. It's sweet and boozy, but with a malt backbone.

BPA: 3.67

Tom's offering is a growler of Town Hall's Hope and King. Nope, we don't. I forgot it at home. DAMMIT. We'll review it next week or something, so what, I don't care.

EDIT: It's the week after, and I've remembered the growler of the Scotch Ale. Let's do this! It's a pretty smooth drinking Scotch, and not nearly as flavorful as the other ones. I think our taste buds are calibrated to Pilsners right now, so we're going to rate this right away.

BPA: 2.9

Guhhhh

Next is French Broad's Wee Heavy-er. I've neve heard of this brewery, so we're all interested to give it a try. It smells of Belgian candi. Wow, this is a Weir one. It's quite sour, but the malts and cinnamon are obvious.

BPA: 2.28

Waxed. Swing-topped- Grolsch style. This one is Sprecher Scotch Ale Aged in Oak Bourbon Barrels, coming in at 10.2%. It smells of boooooze. Holy cow, it is just a big fat liquid Werthers. It has a slight boozy burn, but it's sweet and caramelly. BOOM! That was a popular beer for sure. And the least likely of the bunch.

BPA: 3.75

Last, but maybe least, is Brent's Odell 90 Shilling. Zang! There are some hops there! It's only 5.3%, and you can tell that it's not quite the same as the last few. It tastes more like an IPA or a lager than a Scotch.

BPA: 3.10

Welp, that's it for now. I forgot my growler of Town Hall, but I'll bring it next week, and it will wreak drunken vengeance on us after we're through with whatever we taste.

Epic Statistical Breakdown

Now that we've sampled a good deal of beers, I've decided to do some statistical analysis of the beers we've tried. So far, we've tried 74 different beers. Here's how they break down by country:

US: 56
Belgium: 12
Germany: 4
Canada: 2

And within US beers, this is how they break down by state:

California: 17
Colorado: 10
Michigan: 7
Minnesota: 6
New York: 4
Illinois: 3
Oregon: 3
Pennsylvania: 2
Massachusetts: 1
Missouri: 1
Montana: 1
Wisconsin: 1

And here are the breweries we've sampled most (min. 2):

Town Hall: 4
Stone: 4
Russian River: 3
Goose Island: 3
Lagunitas, Sierra Nevada, Great Divide, Left Hand, New Belgium, Oskar Blues, Bell's, Founders, Ommegang, Southern Tier, Rogue, Victory, Brasserie Dupont, Unibroue: 2

And finally, here's the number of beers we've tried that are in BeerAdvocate's Top 100:

13


Clearly we'll sample more and more beers from the top 100, as that's one of the goals when trying each style. We'll also try more Surly, because we're planning a Surly night, and New Glarus, because there's a Fruit meeting on the horizon. I also can't wait to have a Mexican night to get those guys on the board. Because the world's leader in Pina Colada production needs to be seen on a beer blog.

Tenth Meeting

Here we are folks, for a very special meeting. Not only is it our tenth meeting, but it's also Mike's initiation into official brotherhood. He chose American Strong Ale, so LET'S GET IT AWN!

First, and most importantly, is Sam Adams Utopias. This guy doesn't come in at any ABV. IT RIDES A RHINO AND CRASHES INTO YOUR LIVING ROOM AT 27% ABV, BOYEEEEE!!!! This one costs a purty penny, so we're having but a sip of Mike's stash. It currently sits on the Top 100 on BA, and is the highest alcohol content on the list. First up: it smells like vanilla and booze. The taste is similar to the smell. It's very boozy, but it tastes similar to port. Colin thinks it tastes like maple syrup. Quite good, but not really like beer.

BPA: 3.55

Double Dead Guy Ale, by Rogue, is our next beer. It comes in a sweet opaque red bottle. Bitchin. 9% is the ABV at which it comes. Sea monkeys are floating around the glass. Some think it's yeast, but I think it's a colony of sea monkeys. It pours a nice orange color, and it smells malty. I think the utopia burnt my taste buds, but I'm pretty sure this one is malty, followed up with some hops. It's fairly sweet, and the alcohol isn't easily detectable. Once again, this may be because of the grain alcohol I just consumed.

BPA: 3.10

Batting third, Friar brings to us Left Hand Chainsaw Ale. I've never before seen or tasted this beer. This is also a 9%er. Did I catch a niner in there? This one tastes more like a DIPA. Actually, more like an imperial Summit. It's not just double the hops, but also double the malts, which makes it pretty balanced. The hops show up on the tongue, and just hop away, like a friggity frog! According to Mike.

BPA: 2.9

Next up; Oskar Blues Gordon Ale. This is classified by the brewery as an Imperial Red, but to the rest of us, it's an American Strong Ale. This stuff is 8.7%. It pours a fine amber, much like Kitty Kat's flowing locks. The taste is on the hoppy side. SEASON 4 OF LOST WAS THE BEST!! NO!! EVERYONE WHO SAYS THEY LIKE THE FINALE WAS LYING! NOOO YOU IDIOT!! People are shouting about LOST right now, for whatever reason. Back to the beer.

BPA: 3.52

On to da next. This one is a collaboration between Stone, Firestone Walker, and 21st Amendment, and the name is a mouthful. "El Camino Unreal Black Ale." This dark, dark ale is a 9.5%er. It smells stouter than everything else we've had. Noob slur! Mike just called a table "taber." And his slur streak continues. Yep, this really just tastes like a stout. I'm not sure why it's classified as a strong ale, though. Eureka! It's figs! I have some fig jam! The three previous sentences were excitedly uttered by noob Belfry.

BPA: 3.20

Lagunitas Undercover Shutdown Ale is our next pour. This one pours a reddish-brown, but who am I to judge because I'm significantly colorblind. It's 9.7% ABV. It tastes just like what I think of when I think of a strong ale. It's malty, slightly hoppy, and caramelly. Not too different from Double Bastard.

BPA: 3.40

Lastly, we have Stone Sublimely Self Righteous Ale. It pours a dark brown, and it's truly sublime. It's malty like Double Bastard, but has the same hop profile as Ruination. It's a bitter hoppy flavor. Smooth. Mine's gone. I liked that. I liked it. The previous statements were all said around the table regarding this beer.

BPA: 3.43

That does it. I'm about to finish my side beer which happens to be New Glarus Belgian Red. We went to Hudson today to get a bunch of delicious brews not available Minnesota-side. Good times